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Getting a job is one of the most stressful parts of getting out of the military. Sure, the admin people do an alright job with getting you out, kindof, and there is always some VA rep or VFW guy who comes in trying to recruit. Harmless, they’re there to help. But in reality, let’s be honest, you really just want to go ape on some of the nitwits who interview you.

But the military commercials are replete with examples of how the military equals success in the civilian world — which, somehow I’m sure, explains why veteran unemployment is so high — right?

In any case, let’s look at some things the military teaches you to do in professional interviewing settings that are guaranteed to make you lose in the interview before you even get to start putting in work.

 

Recite General Knowledge

Start with Core Values. Every service has them. They are great corporate-speak that will make anyone go “wait, you actually memorize those things?” A lot of the time, core values sound like something that you’ll find on a motivational poster in a break room. Reciting these will definitely make you sound like a zealous crazy-person.

But don’t stop there! Make sure you knock on the boss’ door/doorframe hard enough to remove it from the wall. Then, take the most direct way in and jump straight to parade rest. That will get you the job…for sure…

 

Answer Questions Truthfully

The cliche question is “did you kill anyone?” and the answer to this question is definitively lose-lose. If you were a hardened grunt who personally slew 100 insurgents in Fallujah, they will be terrified of you. If you were in the engine room on some ship in the mid-Atlantic, they stop caring.

So you can be sure that, no matter how you answer a question about your military service, it will be the wrong answer. You might try to craft some creative thing like “demonstrating leadership” from telling your friends to stop screwing around and to get back to the police call so you can get off the range and back to the barracks, but why not just be honest. “Hurry up and wait.” This is sure to make the interview go down in flames.

 

Be Honest About Superiors


So you won’t get an Article 15 anymore for aptly pointing out that your CO probably got an ASVAB waiver and as such, feel free to vent a little. “Oh, you guys don’t micromanage?” This is BS, of course, because every boss micromanages (unless you’ve found yourself that diamond in the rough), but no one likes to think of themselves or their organization in such a light. However, this will get you cut in a hot minute, as they will be on to you. You are a troublemaker. You know too much. You will sow dissent.

But we’ve all heard the rhetoric “I care about your opinions” from senior leaders trying to look good and “approachable.” The nice thing about civilian companies, though, is that the ones that will still be around in three to five years are the ones that really pay attention to input from motivated people who care. Caring, as hard as you might try to hide it, is actually important to you, as you are a veteran and know what it’s like to have a job that matters.

 

The Real Deal

The key is, you might not find a company worthy of your background and experience. Loyalty is something fiercely given by veterans, often to undeserving people. It’s in our nature to be loyal and work hard. As such, if you don’t find the ideal fit, remember that you have learned in the military most all of the skills you need to succeed in making your own company.

There are some great places out there who are trying to encourage veteran entrepreneurs. If you get a chance, think it over and talk to people you respect. You never know where things will go. Never let anyone tell you that you’re not capable (unless you were that one guy who collected knives that you bought at PXs all over the world…you definitely are special and should probably just play it safe).

Whatever you do, don’t sell yourself short, and, more likely than not, ignore what you learned in the military. You will probably fare much better in the job interview…